


Beautiful

by Canttouchthis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Battle of Hogwarts, F/F, Fluff, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Mild Smut, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:15:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28675806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canttouchthis/pseuds/Canttouchthis
Summary: Seven moments stolen in hidden alcoves and in the shadow of an oak tree. A story about longing and falling in love.
Relationships: Lavender Brown/Pansy Parkinson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 16





	Beautiful

**1**

It started with a whimper from behind a tapestry that echoed across the empty corridor. Pansy’s footsteps paused and her gaze shifted, eyeing the tapestry warily.

She swallowed, reminding herself she didn’t _care_ , that it didn’t _matter_. But then a slight sob escaped and Pansy’s heart inexplicably pulled, filling her with unbidden memories of her own.

 _You will never be pretty, Pansy_.

The familiar taunt rang in her mind, and she felt the echoes of her own tears, her own sobs, so similar to the ones wafting through the corridor.

She pushed the tapestry aside, spying the slight girl with wavy brown hair and a purple ribbon sitting askew on her head.

“Go away,” Lavender rasped, sniffling as she attempted to cover her face.

Pansy stood agape, suddenly unsure of the wisdom of her decision. So many words sat at the tip of her tongue; soothing assurances and biting taunts alike, but Pansy was immobile, simply watching the Gryffindor fall apart.

Without thought, she approached the girl, grasping her shoulders tight, as if to keep her steady. Pansy sat beside Lavender on the windowsill for some time before the sniffling girl finally looked up, her gaze meeting Pansy’s for the first time.

“Why are you here?” she asked.

Pansy swallowed, the question pulsing through her own mind. “No one should cry alone, Brown,” Pansy said, watching the girl slowly regain her composure, her breaths grow stronger and her eyes begin to dry.

Lavender nodded, dropping her head onto Pansy’s chest while Pansy rubbed circles against her back. 

“Thank you,” Lavender whispered, gripping Pansy’s thighs, her fingers clutching the cotton skirt.

“You’re welcome.”

Pansy didn’t notice until later that night that Lavender’s purple ribbon had stuck to her robes.

* * *

**2**

Pansy learned Lavender had been crying over a boy - Ron Weasley of all people. She didn’t know why this made her angry, or why she particularly cared, but for some reason the knowledge that this girl was upset over _him_ , caused a pain in her stomach she couldn’t quite reconcile.

Pansy eyed the brunette from across the Great Hall, watching her return to her bubbly and carefree persona, giggling with her schoolmates and otherwise showing no signs that she was at all affected by her break up. But every once in a while, Pansy would catch her gaze, and Lavender would give her the faintest of smiles that would send her heart a flutter.

Pansy tried to ignore it, to push it down or force the errant feelings away. She’d spent a Saturday night half drunk, pushed up against the Slytherin Common Room wall, with Theo Nott’s very willing fingers pushed within her. But something felt so horribly wrong, between his rough hands and bulky muscles.

She fingered Lavender’s purple ribbon that night as she lay on her bed, ignoring the high pitched murmurings of her insipid roommates. Pansy brushed the ribbon to her nose, though Lavender’s lemon verbena scent had long since faded. Her fingers did what Theo’s could not, as she squeezed her thighs and clutched the ribbon, the image of a soft smile and brown wavy hair in her mind as she finally found her release.

* * *

**3**

After Dumbledore’s death, the sound of whimpering became common, as students rushed the halls clutching one another, their eyes puffy and wet. They glared at her green tie and levelled accusatory stares her way, as though by virtue of her house she was somehow responsible for their suffering.

Pansy didn’t understand it; who was Dumbledore after all, but a foolish man? He was nothing to her, no one worth her tears.

But then she heard it, that whimper, though this time it was outside by the lake, huddled alone beside an oak tree.

She looked beautiful in spite of the sobs, or perhaps because of them. Her face poked out of her knees, her button nose streaked with tears and eyes swollen.

“Pansy?” Lavender called out hesitantly, her voice shaky, but Pansy detected a glimmer of hope in it.

In spite of her better judgement, Pansy felt her heart soar at the sound of her name on Lavender’s lips, at the way her eyes widened at the sight of her.

Pansy sat to her left and wrapped her arms around Lavender, leaning her chin over the girl’s shoulder. Lavender grabbed her hands, linking their fingers together, sending an inexplicable wave of warmth through Pansy. 

The sun reflected specks of auburn off of Lavender’s hair, and Pansy just sat and held her, basking in her warmth and the feel of her soft breaths brushing against her cheek. 

Lavender stopped crying but didn’t move, clutching Pansy’s hands tighter and shifting so that her cheek was pressed to Pansy’s chest, her nose lingering against her neck. Pansy’s breath quickened, fantasies of soft skin and delicate fingers replaying in her mind. She imagined how easy it would be to lean down and graze her lips against Lavender’s, to place feather light kisses down her neck and onto her breasts.

“I’m scared,” Lavender whispered, and Pansy’s fantasies disappeared as she clutched the girl closer to her.

“Why?” Pansy asked softly.

“What will happen to me? In this new world?” 

Pansy wanted to tell her that she would protect her, that she wouldn’t let the Dark Lord harm a hair on her head. But she refused to waste her breath on such lies, knowing she could never follow through with such a promise.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” Pansy asked.

And they lay in each other’s arms all afternoon, whispering nonsense about classes and make-up and parental woes, letting their worries flit away in the breeze.

* * *

**4**

The first week of Seventh Year, Pansy finally saw her in Charms, sitting rigid with the Patil girl, eyes wide and purple bags beneath. Pansy pretended to stumble on the way to her seat and grabbed the Gryffindor’s robed thigh for just a moment. Lavender placed her hand over hers, a quick squeeze of reassurance that she was there. They made eye contact for barely an instant, but it was enough.

Pansy slipped her a note on the way out, instructions to meet at the Astronomy Tower that evening.

She was wracked with nerves and uncertainty as the sun slowly fell and the door shifted, a familiar silhouette creeping onto the tower rooftop.

“Hi,” Pansy said, swallowing a thousand words. _I missed you. I was scared. Are you okay? What do you need?_

“Hi,” Lavender responded, her shoulders relaxing, her breaths calming, as though all she needed was Pansy’s voice to quell her anxiety. They met at the railing, elbows brushing as they gazed at the darkening sky.

“How was your summer?” Pansy asked.

“Lonely,” she said, and Pansy felt goosebumps prickle along her neck, as though chilling her very soul.

“Thank you for writing,” Pansy said with a slight smile.

Lavender scooted closer, looping her arm with Pansy’s as they leaned against the railing and now one another. “Thank you for writing back.”

Pansy was not sure who made the first move; she liked to think they turned to one another simultaneously, their gazes locked and faces pushing towards one another. When their lips collided, it didn’t matter who’d started it, all Pansy knew was she never wanted it to end.

Lavender’s lips were as soft as she’d imagined, fitting so perfectly against hers. Pansy’s fingers danced over the soft curves of her hips, clutching at her waist and pulling her closer, all while Lavender’s tongue pressed against hers, their languid kiss further deepened.

Pansy’s every nerve felt electrified, a warmth spreading from her fingers to her neck down to her core. She felt awake, as though every fantasy, forbidden thought and moment of uncertainty led her to this moment. Lavender’s fingers wandered from Pansy’s brown locks to her sides and Pansy moaned into her mouth, practically quivering from the anticipation of it.

“I’ve never done this before,” Lavender whispered, her fingers playing at the bottom of Pansy’s shirt, grazing the skin underneath. Pansy grabbed her hand, gently guiding it over her breasts. “Like that?” Lavender asked, licking her lips, her whisper sending shivers down Pansy’s spine.

Pansy had never felt so warm, so turned on as she had then, holding Lavender’s hand beneath her shirt. She could only nod, pressing her lips back to hers, aching in a way she had never imagined.

“Pansy,” Lavender whispered, her fingers pressing beneath her bra and playing with her nipples. Pansy opened her eyes and saw the want in Lavender’s, her own ache mirrored in her eyes.

“This is my first time too,” Pansy told her, feeling vulnerable as their chests heaved together, their fingers glued to each other’s skin. “Maybe we should take it slow,” she suggested, the wind picking up and brushing Lavender’s hair in her face. 

“When can I see you?” Lavender asked, her soft brown eyes locked on hers.

Pansy swallowed, brushing her hand over Lavender’s cheek and pressing her fingers into her wavy locks. “We’ll meet in our alcove, after supper, behind the tapestry,” Pansy suggested.

They kissed once more, their lips lingering as the last rays of sun withered away.

* * *

**5**

It was Daphne who told her what happened.

“Those Gryffindors refused to do what Carrow asked,” Daphne’s voice shook as she explained.

Pansy wasn’t taking NEWT level Defense, as her mother didn’t deem it appropriate for a woman to take such a class. So she kept her face impassive as Daphne explained that Lavender, _her_ Lavender, had refused to perform the Cruciatus, earning herself a detention.

“Excuse me,” Pansy said, slowly exiting the dormitory. She broke out into a near sprint the moment she was clear of the dungeons, pushing past first years and skidding to a sudden stop outside of their alcove.

 _Would she be there?_ Pansy stared at the tapestry, gathering her courage, before pushing through, huffing a breath of relief at seeing Lavender curled up into the window.

It was short lived though. The moment Lavender turned, her eyes bloodshot and uniform askew, Pansy knew something horrific had happened. Pansy pulled her close, wrapping her tight, as though she could somehow make things right by force of will alone.

“What happened?” Pansy whispered, rocking her. Lavender’s eyes grew wet, but she shook her head.

“I don’t - I don’t want to talk about it. Can I just be here? With you?” Lavender pleaded, leaning her head back, eyes wide.

Pansy would’ve given her anything in that moment; so she nodded, continuing to hold her.

“How many tears have I cried on you, Pansy?” Lavender asked, turning to face her, their legs and arms intertwined and noses inches apart.

“I’ve lost count,” Pansy teased with a slight smirk.

Lavender chuckled, her eyes alight, and Pansy was fairly certain it was the most remarkable thing she’d ever witnessed.

“You're so beautiful,” Pansy told her, tucking a strand of Lavender’s hair behind her ear.

Lavender’s smile dropped slightly. “Not as beautiful as you.”

Pansy couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips. “You don’t have to say that, I know I’m not pretty.”

“Pansy,” Lavender’s gaze bore into hers, “when I look at you, I see light. I see the slight dimples when you smile and the ways your eyes glow when you find something funny. You’re beyond pretty - you’re beautiful. Never forget that.”

Pansy felt her own eyes well and her heart race. Lavender’s fingers tugged at her robes, urging her closer, before locking their lips together. It was rough, bruising, as though a kiss could somehow assure Pansy of the truth of her words.

And in a way, they did.

Pansy cast a few privacy spells, her breaths uneven as she pressed Lavender against the window, their hands flying to each other's waists. They tore off one another’s robes, sweaters, nylons, until they stood nearly bare.

Pansy covered herself, self-conscious, recalling her mother’s words:

_You will never be pretty, Pansy._

“You’re beautiful,” Lavender whispered, grabbing Pansy’s hands and biting Pansy’s upper lip. Pansy sighed, letting herself relax, relishing the feel of Lavender’s feather light touches as she grazed Pansy’s sides.

“Can I touch you?” Pansy asked, her hand hovering over Lavender’s waist. She nodded, her breaths growing sharper.

Pansy pulled her panties down slowly, all while Lavender’s lips brushed against Pansy’s ear and her cheek, her breaths whispering against Pansy’s neck. Pansy’s fingers grazed across Lavender’s slick folds, before landing on her sensitive nub. Lavender’s breath hitched as Pansy slowly pressed and circled, watching her eyes flutter and shut while her lips parted slightly.

Pansy shifted, continuing her ministrations as she slowly placed a finger into Lavender’s cunt. “Does this feel alright?” Pansy whispered, watching Lavender squirm and her legs shake.

“Ya - yes,” Lavender gasped, tightening her grip on Pansy. Pansy kept pressing a finger in and out, adding another, mimicking how she’d touch herself late at night, under the blankets in the cover of darkness.

Lavender's breaths shifted to light moans, her cheeks turning red as Pansy continued, pressing kisses along her neck, down her chest. Lavender chucked off her bra, pressing her hands into Pansy’s short brown locks as Pansy placed wet kisses along her nipples, licking and sucking all while her fingers circled and prodded.

Lavender’s head shot back, her entire body shaking as she moaned Pansy’s name and gripped her thighs tight, as though afraid Pansy would stop before she experienced the last waves of her orgasm. Pansy kissed her, swallowing her moans as Lavender pressed her hips against her hands, grinding against her.

“Pansy,” she breathed, opening her eyes slowly, as though waking up from a dream.

When Lavender smiled, Pansy felt confident there was nothing more beautiful.

“Thank you,” Lavender said.

“Thank you,” Pansy told her, the pair curling into one another, forgetting the horrors that existed outside their alcove, even if just for a short while.

* * *

**6**

Pansy raced through the halls, ignoring the shouts of incredulity, the taunts, the commands to stop and turn herself in.

None of it mattered.

It was over. Voldemort was dead. But as the dust settled, Lavender was nowhere to be found.

Pansy’s one piece of solace was she wasn’t amongst the bed.

She finally made her way to the hospital wing, pushing through the throngs of family members and friends crowding the place, her eyes locked on a bed in the back corner where Lavender lay, a scar covering the side of her face.

“Lavender,” she sat on the bed without preamble, grasping her warm hand. Pansy felt the weight of dozens of eyes on her, the distant sounds of whispers, confusion.

A boy tentatively stood at the other side of the bed, and Pansy spared a moment to look up and see Neville Longbottom standing with furrowed brows.

“Uh, she’s gonna be alright,” Neville told her.

Pansy gave a short nod. “Thanks,” she managed to get out, her gaze returning to Lavender’s button nose and soft lips.

She heard the chair beside Lavender’s bed scrape the ground and realized Neville was still there.

“I know,” Neville said quietly.

Pansy was torn; a part of her wanting to tear the Gryffindor in half for whatever he was about to say and the other half completely apathetic. 

Neville swallowed. “About the two of you. I’ll get everyone off your back. I know she wouldn’t want them giving you a hard time.”

Pansy was speechless, so she nodded her thanks, relieved when the boy left and the privacy curtain swung shut.

* * *

**7**

Pansy refused to leave Lavender’s side, laying beside her at night and holding vigil during the day. She lost count of the family and friends who would stop by, giving her wary glances and sometimes even snide remarks but for the most part leaving her be.

“Pansy?” Lavender’s creaky voice broke through Pansy’s fog and she sat up right, pressing a hand against Lavender’s pale cheek.

“You’re alright?” Pansy asked, relief flooding her.

Lavender’s hand flew to the scar that covered the right side of her face. Pansy moved her hand to the side, kissing the scar softly.

“You’re here,” Lavender said, attempting a smile.

Pansy laughed. “Of course, where else would I be?”

“It’s over?” Lavender asked. Her eyes wide, and her hand once more returned to her face.

Pansy nodded. “It’s over.” She grabbed her hand once again. 

“It’s hideous, I can feel it,” Lavender bemoaned, her eyes shifting away from Pansy’s.

“You’re beautiful,” Pansy whispered, kissing her gently. “And I’ll always love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [melanoradrood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/pseuds/melanoradrood) for reviewing and encouraging. If you are into Bridgerton, please check out her new fic, [Five Minutes Alone with You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641621/chapters/70206783).
> 
> Thank you for reading and I appreciate any and all reviews/comments/thoughts. You can find me scratching my head on Tumblr @[canttouchthis87](https://canttouchthis87.tumblr.com/).


End file.
